2015 BOTTLEMART SMIDDY CHALLENGE—DAY 3 EIDSVOLD TO BILOELA

Day 3 highlights written by Luke Horsfell and Darren Geraghty


Stats of the day by Dave “Stinky” Colahan

Elapsed time – 10:30
Moving time – 7:03
Average speed – 24.6 km
Fastest Speed – 77 km
Total distance- 173.6 km
Vertical gain – 1500 m
Min temp – 0.0 degrees
Max temp – 26.0 degrees


Road Kill Count by Michael Zinc: A full kill list as read out by Michael

• 12 Kangaroos
• 2 Rabbits (inc Easter Bunny)
• 1 Bag of Bones
• 3 Birds
• 1 Dog
• 1 Snake
• 2 Gold Fish (suspected)

The newly appointed Deputy and Contractor are performing to the standard required however a dark cloud continues to loom of the need for a contractor due to the low output and high cost.

Category Jerseys

Spirit Jersey: Naomi Bath

Team Jersey: Ken Woods

Mateship Jersey: Cameron Haberman

Account of the day

Day 3 began in Eidsvold with Café Maria open for yet another fantastic breakfast prepared by our wonderful and seemingly unstoppable road crew. Each morning we arrive early at Café Maria to see the crew already busily preparing the tomatoes and cheese for the all-important morning tea.  As we straddle the line to step off the conversation was thick with controversy over whose Garmin was reading the correct temperature. Ranges between -0.9 to 3 degrees were consistent across the board but the riders were happy to accept that it was very cold according to the international standard of measure for cyclist, the dribbly nose.

The ride began with an enjoyable descent with a few undulations thrown in to help warm the bones. Spirits were high, conversation was flowing with the standard “How you feeling?” simply replied with “Cold”.  Across the Challenge riders and crew the winter clothes were in full swing with the small exception of our brothers form Tassie, Tim Smith & Ollie Bodak attesting to it being quite a pleasant morning for riding.

As the sun moved higher in the sky, peeking through the trees, the riders enjoyed the warmth that the new day of riding was bringing.  As the layers were stripped back, the riders rounded a corner and stumbled upon our hardman police escort, Coppy assisted by his deputy Blair cuddling labrador puppies.  Needless to say the heckles followed as the riders whipped past.

As the riders stopped for a quick refill and toilet break the very eager Christian false started the bunch without the verbal agreement of Kevy.  Kevy quickly asserted his authority providing a much needed laugh to the Challenge riders.

On the lips of the riders throughout the day was the dubious windmill and white horse calls from Stinky Dave.  In what can only be assumed to be pre marked positions on his Garmin route map, Dave points into the distant farmland shouting “Windmill”. Now to explain a little further the riders do count windmills and white horses to pass the time and keep minds occupied however some of Dave’s calls are under review.

After a tick over the 100 km mark the Smiddy group was welcomed like rock stars to the ever vibrant Monto Primary School.  The reception received upon arrival was amazing to see; the little children’s eyes light up with excitement after our long anticipated arrival.  With a “Good Morning Mr Sharky, God Bless You” form the children, Sharky, wearing full Sharky ceremonial head dress, and Anna took the stage to share the story of Smiddy and Sun Safety. One of the more colourful responses to the sun safety questions around prevention was the use of Knee and Elbow pads much to the amusement of the surrounding adults.  As always, Monto Primary turned on the Morning Tea with an amazing mix of cakes.

As we left Monto Primary the chatter began to gain momentum around the upcoming climb over the Monto range and just when the spirit began to drop Smither’s whipped out his blue tooth speaker and iPod to raise and lift the group up the range with outstanding efforts from the hands of god and best of ground Jen for tearing holes in the field.

As we pulled over for lunch and in an attempt to perform some fully sick skids, the newly appointed Deputy Road Kill Counter Luke decided to closely inspect the gravel for quality and consistency managing to get to his feet before Sharky arrived with the camera.

As the kilometres ticked over the excitement was at an all-time high.The hotly anticipated arrival into Thangool had finally arrived with yet another roaring reception.  The games began quickly with Booba’s team tacking line honours in the Bilo trivia.

The zinc face painting again took place with the lovely children taking autographs from the riders in true rock star style.  The food was a plenty as the spread was laid out.  With the toad race to take place shortly after the hot contenders balanced the fine line of taking a race win or that extra cup cake and brownie.

As the challenge crew farewelled Thangool Primary the Toad race to Biloela was afoot.  The heavy hitters lined up as the cake eaters made their way to the back opting for a gentle roll into town. Line honours in the Road race taken by Westy in the men’s and local Biloela favourite Naomi in the women’s.

To wrap up a special mention must go to the Cameron for his incredible efforts as Challenge rider and Physio.  Cameron is not only riding but commits himself to staying up late treating others. A true example of the Smiddy spirit that keeps us all going.

Community Function Auctions:

Thangool Primary - $700

Roadside Donor - $50

Rotary Biloela - $1000

Thangool Inc - $200

CS Energy - $500

Smiddy Frame Photo Auction - $600

Smiddy Hand Made Quilt - $500

10 Years of Smiddy Photo Montage - $Undisclosed

ACDC Signed Guitar - Passed In


Michael, Principal of Thangool Primary, delivered a beautiful letter from David & Maria Smiddy from the previous year’s Challenge further acknowledging the amazing impact that Maria and David have had on the entire community.  Thank you to Thangool Primary for your wonderful donation, incredible afternoon tea and high fives.  You made each and every rider feel like a rock star and we all look forward to seeing those smiling faces in 2016. The Biloela Community also held a Lantern celebration commemorating the 10 consecutive years of Smiling for Smiddy.

Ron Page, Mayor of Banana Shire, spoke on the inspiration that Smiling for Smiddy brings to the Banana Shire.  On behalf the Banana Shire community Ron presented Smiling for Smiddy with a key to the Shire.  Thank you Ron and the Banana Shire for your continued support. Bronwyn Bates presented a beautiful handmade quilt to David Smiddy & Sharky in memory of Maria, Adam and the journey of Smiddy.  Bronwyn and Noel Bates have been incredible supporters of the Smiddy team and we thank you dearly for all your efforts.

One of the highlights for the night would have to have been Grant’s acapella performance of Pursuit of Happiness.  It definitely tested out the co-ordination of the crowd to keep the beat.

2015 Bottlemart Smiddy Challenge—Day 2 Nanango to Eidsvold

Day 2 highlights written by Matt Marshall & Rowan Foster

Stats of the day (after three failed attempts and a foiled plot to plagarise the Day 1 readings) by Dave "Stinky" Colahan

Elapsed time—11 hrs 27 mins

Moving time—9 hrs 02 mins

Average speed—26.6km/hr

Fastest speed—72km/hr

Total distance—241.5 km

Vertical gain—2542 m

Min temp—9 degrees

Max temp— 26 degrees

Road kill count by Michael Zinc

Zincy owned the night with a 30 minute comedy show, complete with a live "Apprentice-style" hire and fire recruitment announcement that followed a detailed search for a deputy—which ultimately saw Luke Horsfield appointed deputy courtesy of his past career as an SAS sniper. We understood the reasoning to be that this skill-set will prove quite useful if the roadkill count is low and we need to bolster numbers. While Luke got the prized gig, Booba (aka Mick Young) was placed in a consultancy role. Zincy then proceeded to sing the Austrian national anthem before producing Sheriff and Deputy badges for him and Luke.

While Zincy's humour is widely accepted, it's not for everyone. There was a mumbling from the crowd—I think from the proprietor of Terry's Tucker Truck—that his old routine needs sub titles. Certainly, post-Challenge, Zincy could audition for a slot on SBS television. While his English is mostly okay, he did mistake "veteran" with "veterinairan" or "vegetarian" (no one's really sure which, as they just nod and smile and pretend to understand him) when describing Booba.

Category Jerseys

Spirit Jersey: Peter Barnett—one of our many 'quiet achievers'

Team Jersey: Greg Sakzewski—for his amazing work supporting his team mates throughout the day

Mateship Jersey: Claire Schneider—for "keeping it classy, people".

In a throwback to 2006, Smiddy originals Sharky, Ron and Ollie got special treatment billeted with Mark and Desley Gaedtke who have supported the Smiddy visit since its first year. In carbon copy of that original year, Ollie was left to sleep on a blow-up mattress in the lounge whilst Sharky and Ron spooned one another in a king size single complete with satin sheets. As dawn broke, the three slept soundly having not bothered to set an alarm. Mark—the caring host that he is—knocked quietly on Ron and Sharky's door without response. Pushing it slightly ajar he discovered the Smiddy virtue of Mateship is evident at all times, Ron gently applying isocol to Mark's nether region.

The rest of the riders spent the night in swags at Nanango Showgrounds and as Day 2 dawned they were stoked to see the rain had gone. The Showground Society put on a tremendous hot breakfast to make sure we were all set for the 242 km ride ahead.

Outside riders were greeted by gleaming clean bikes, the result of a midnight finish by first time mechanic Trev and his trusty sidekick Ron Steel. Trev was leaving us at lunch on Day 2, which sets a dangerous precedent for Ron who takes over mechanical duties.

Slippery Jim (aka Sequel) had a new mate in tow on the morning and explained it was the result of phoning home looking for new wheels after his incident descending Mt Mee on Day 1. With busted wheels and seven days of riding ahead he put the call to Nick Simonelli and got him to drive the two hours from Brisbane to Nanango with a fresh set of wheels. Slippery thanked his mate by offering him a bed for the night ... which was simply a towel on the concrete floor.

Departing Nanango is always a special ride—quiet undulating roads and countryside make for a great start to the day. We admire the forest by the roadside and nature boy Ryan 'Razzle' Chapman pointed out how nice the tall gum trees are. Sharky's response: "yeah ... they seem to get bigger every year". Go figure Sharky.

Not far down the road we spotted a crashed Ford Falcon in the ditch. The riders cruised by, assuming it to be an old abandoned vehicle, only for the road crew to discover it was occupied by two young men sleeping the night off. After Dr Andrew was quickly summoned from the peloton to drop back and check on their state, Copey's sirens were seen flying back to the scene, only for our resident officer to declare "nothing to see here". Clearly taking his advice from fellow copper Stemmy.

Every year we quickly discover which blokes fancy themselves with their kit off, but surprisingly, short-priced favourite Dave 'Stinky' Colahan was beaten to the post this year in displaying the first full euro as Ollie—fresh from Tassie—unzipped before the mercury hit 10 degrees. Zane was not to be left out of the action either, quickly letting the wind hit his chiselled chest also.

On to Goomeri for a wonderful morning tea in the park, thanks to our road crew, and as the sun began to warm us up, the tail winds also greeted us. As we headed out on the road again and gained speed, there seemed to be confusion over the subtle nuances between the meanings of "pedal"; "pedal pedal"; and "pedal pedal pedal". Our riders chose to do none of the above, but quickly got into the swing of smooth descending to avoid rubber-banding. It was a long stretch to lunch, starting to challenge the peloton, and special mention must go to some of the gutsy rides by the group—including a lion-hearted effort by big Andrew Curthoys and Jen Penfold. Also some tough efforts being done in the road crew with a special mention to Bec Knight today. Amazing stuff.

Into Ban Ban Springs we rolled with wraps and fruit salad awaiting us and loud cheers from Habo's relatives, who had driven from Bundy to catch up with the Smiddy road train. After a pleasant lunch, a touching tribute to the beautiful Maria, with custom designed cycling caps courageously handed out by David to each and every rider and road crew. The caps are complete with Maria's favourite flowers—gerbera's—and will steel our riders' resolve over the coming days. The group rolled out proudly wearing the colours of our beloved matriarch.

The journey continued and so too the bonding between the group, which has really clicked after just two days and are already displaying the values Smiddy cherishes dearly of Spirit, Teamwork and Mateship. So too the laughs we have along the way in the face of adversity.

Local Biloela girl Bathy gets a special mention for feeding some meds to her hometown buddy Habo, who was positively buzzing after lunch and making fellow riders nervous about just how excitable he may get in the lead-in to our Bilo arrival on Day 3.  So excited was Habo, he was giving the trademark "honk honk" gesture to passing trucks ... until his team mates kindly informed him that only the road trains—not the Toyota Klugers—are equipped with the loud horns.

It would be remiss of us not to point out that Bathy, despite living in Bilo for many years, hasn't learned much as to the ways of the land. After Ronny Steel pointed out a deer farm, Bathy was most excited and yelled out "Look—Al Paca's!", before being set straight. Animals were generally the theme of the chat in the peloton today, with Taswegians Timmy Smith and Ollie engaged in a deep and meaningful conversation about Timmy's cat. Here's the executive summary: Timmy's cat has cost him over $12 000 in medical bills—his wife won't let him just opt for the $200 lethal injection—so Timmy has put a positive spin on the situation in waiting for his cat to poo gold. The wait continues.

Through Queensland's oldest town Gayndah and past the Big Orange, we turned for our major climb of the day—this is where Smiddy spirit is at it's finest. Hands on back, encouragement, and pure guts as riders crested to the truck stop at the peak. Descending down the other side, the wind was on the nose but it didn't stop the first show of real testosterone between the blokes as they went at their own pace to Binjour State School—enjoying the chance to really stretch their legs. A parked car on the side of the road served as a decoy finish line as most jumped too early and Westy cruise through for the win.

The rest of the day passed in a fuzzy cloud of fatigue, until finally the Welcome sign at Eidsvold once again heralded a traditional team snapshot. After unrolling our swags again, and enjoying a warm shower, we assembled under the stars on the lawn of the Lions Park—with the Lions Club again cooking us a BBQ dinner with Ian Mitcham donating 120 steaks for us and in a popular raffle win claiming the prize of a special collection made by the local Lions to commemorate our 10th annual journey.

For our new riders—after the sheer exhaustion of Day 1 in the Nanango Showgrounds—another special evening provided a glimpse into the unique bond and special communities' ties Smiling for Smiddy has and will enjoy throughout our life-affirming eight day journey.

Yak and Rowan spoke of their Smiddy journeys. Yak—who alongside wife Robyn is a long-time and highly valued Smiddy ambassador from the Sunshine Coast—trialed a few jokes on us. They went like this:

There were two snowmen. One snowman said to the other snowman "can you smell carrots?".

Two China men were robbing a liquor store. One said to the other "Is this Whiskey?", and the other replied "No, if it was a bank, that would be 'wisky'".

Row spoke of his uncle Dennis's plucky and prolonged cancer fight, and his memories of Adam—both of which have spurred him on as one of the key founding fathers of Smiling for Smiddy. He also summed up the feeling of all when he spoke of Maria, whose absence is being felt as you would expect when a family loses its mum.

Copey (aka Brucey) a close friend of Adam who rides Challenge every second year and is providing a three-day police escort this year, also spoke to the group. Copey oozes Smiddy values—his selflessness is immense and he summed up the feeling of many when he said "Don't thank me ... I'd do anything for this ride". Copey is a true character and a great bloke. And he would do anything for Smiddy—even training a recruit on the job. Constable Sammi Jo still has a little work to do on her driving skills, but looks super cute in the uniform and has the assassin hands. Who needs tasers when you have zen spray, right Sammi?

Before we conclude, it would be a shame for us not to recount how Sharky was once again nearly left behind when stopping for a bush toilet stop. It's lucky Kevvy has been around so long, following his backside around the country, and knows when it's missing from the peloton. Otherwise, Sharky would still be on his way to Eidsvold. Thankfully, he rode back onto the back of the peloton and restored order without to many noticing ... only the eagle eyes that matter for the Day 2 blog.

Editors note: There may be some inaccuracies in this blog as the authors' may or may not have reached a point of delirium after a 242 km ride. Plus road crew were left to fill in the gaps ... sorry Yak if we have ruined your jokes!

2015 Bottlemart Smiddy Challenge—Day 1 Brisbane to Nanango

Stats of the day by Dave “Stinky” Colahan

Elapsed time –     10hrs 42 mins
Moving time –       8hrs 21mins
Average speed –  24.6km/hr
Fastest Speed –   72.7km/hr
Total distance –    206km
Vertical gain –       3096m
Min temp –            9 degrees
Max temp –           23 degrees

Special Stats – Terrific Trevor has done an outstanding job of Day 1 mechanic: working into the night washing and oiling every chain. Lord knows what he is doing to the bikes that require extra attention. He was a fitting recipient of the Mateship jersey.

Road Kill Count by Michael Zinc:

Morning

• 4 possums
• 2 birds
• 1 black swan for Perth…it was big…and black!
• 2 destroyed wheels

Afternoon

• 1 lizard
• 1 cat
• 1 bat
• 12 cane toads
• 5 bad smells

Michael is starting a recruitment process for his deputy…so please be prepared for a job interview.


Category Jerseys

Spirit Jersey: Liz Butler – for always having a smile on her face and raising an incredible $17,000

Team Jersey: Sean Leaver – for his role in supporting riders up tough climbs

Mateship Jersey: Trevor Menhinick for lending his bike to a fellow rider after a last minute mishap.


Riders' account of the day- Anna & Bathy

The day dawns, the day we have been waiting/dreading for the past 12 months. It’s roll out day for the 10th Annual Bottlemart Smiddy Challenge and, as they do each year, staff of the UQ Aquatic Centre host the traditional breakfast for riders, family, friends and supporters.  Huge thanks to Jae and the team.

The crowds were out in force and the buzz in the air was enough to overshadow even the greatest of nerves. Time is something that Smiddy has traditionally chased but safe in the knowledge that Matt Marshall was not speaking there were high hopes that we would leave on schedule.

The group was addressed by Nigel Harris, CEO of the Mater Foundation who will be joining us in Townsville while Sharky honoured the efforts of donors, in particular Sammi who has kindly donated every year to Sharky’s fund and attended the roll out for the last nine years. Many of the returning riders have their own ‘Sammi’ and we thank you one and all.

As many of you reading this blog would know, our Smiddy family lost our matriarch Maria a short time ago. Her beautiful smile and wonderful hugs were missed this morning.  Her image now takes its place on our bikes, alongside Adam’s and will provide inspiration along our journey.

With the ringing of the cowbell by David Smiddy we were off. One of the absolute highlights for cyclists is to enjoy the presidential motorcade experience managed by QPS (Queensland Police Service) who shut down lights and block traffic for our exclusive benefit. For the first time such a service will continue thanks to Brenton (Copey) Cope sometimes known as Bruce, who will accompany us all the way to Bilo. In addition to making us feel special this significantly increases our safety and we thank him for this massive contribution.

3000 metres of climb

Today we climbed half of Mt Everest, beginning with the beautiful Mt Mee, where Claire and Cam claimed KOM status. This was followed by Sharky’s shortcut, known for its pinches where sadly no one was able to uphold the tradition of a swim in the creek.  And the last significant climb, the Blackbutt range which saw Jen channel her passion and sprint to the top.

Food glorious food

We all welcomed a tasty spread at the top of Mt Mee where Maria’s Café was officially launched in memory of her amazing cooking abilities including the traditional sao. Food was again celebrated at lunch where the truck was officially renamed Terry’s Tucker Truck in honour of Terry Smoothy one of the many roadcrew who will ensure we arrive in Townsville this year.

Cheering

If you have ever stood by the side of a road or race and cheered for people and wondered if anyone noticed or even cared then we are here to tell you a resounding yes.

Today random cheers appeared throughout the day to lift our spirits. From Michael Jordan (past rider not basketballer on Mt Mee), Chappy’s gorgeous wife and kids and Emma and Jarrod at lunch and of course Denise, wife of Peter, who followed us all day screaming her support.

Sharky’s appendage 

Much of the talk in the peloton today focused on the strange appendage emerging from Sharky’s rear. It was the Shark man who was to have the last laugh however as it was this very appendage that prevented his bottom from splash back that every other rider had to endure. Look out for more appendages in future Smiddy pelotons.

When the going gets wet 

This afternoon despite inhouse weather predictions provided by Ray Smith, the rain did eventually catch us. Just short of afternoon tea at Blackbutt the heavens opened bringing intimate contact between riders and roadcrew earlier than anticipated. There was some reprieve from the rain as we rolled out for the final 35km stretch to Nanango which was fortunate for the 66% of the peloton who had either left their rain jacket at home or in their night bag.

This was also the time where we saw the most Smiddy Angels in action. These are the guys who put a hand on the back of a fellow rider who may be struggling. It is this simple action that in our view sums up Smiddy and makes you fall in love with this organisation all over again.

The end 

Nanango show grounds where we are staying for the second year, was a welcomed haven from the rain. Hot showers and some great food worked wonders on the crew who settle down for the first night on the road together.

As is tradition the ride was closed by the Smiddy huddle, this time led by Brock, a long-term Smiddy supporter who worked with Adam at the PA. His moving tribute was a fitting end to a tough first leg. The evening continued with Malcolm Frizzle and Mick Young sharing their reasons for riding. Stinky and Zinky delivered their first stats of the Challenge and Sharky awarded the jerseys to the well deserving recipients.

The ongoing support of Mark and Desley Gadtke was also recognised. These guys have been on board since the very beginning when they housed the original three and they continue to play a pivotal role in housing and feeding the Smiddy crew.

A woman’s insight

We can’t let this opportunity pass without providing readers a unique insight into the trials and tribulations of life on the road as two of six female riders in a 52 strong peloton.

These are our main issues we would like to table:

1. Bibs – those lycra things you wear under your jersey – while comfortable such garments make peeing incredibly tricky. While the boys pop off anytime to relieve themselves we have to hold for official public toilet stops. We then have to queue with said boys who for some inexplicable reason are no longer able pop off to the bush.
2. Beards – Smiddy tradition sees riders grow their beards ahead of shave down in Townsville. This year’s crop has been particularly fruitful and as a result it is almost impossible to identify individual riders. Name tags on helmets help during ride time, not much help during meal time. We without beards are much easier to identify and so now have these awkward moments of being known without knowing. 
3. We are all in agreeance that personal hygiene and care is of great importance on these rides. How these standards are met are inconsistent between male and females. It is perfectly acceptable for boys to reapply chamois cream in public view, clear nasal passages of all ingredients and rearrange private parts as required. Such luxury is not extended to the lady riders. 

As always it is an honour to be part of this ride with such incredible people. We all have our reasons for riding and finding out a little more about these reasons is one of the great joys of the ride.

Thank you Sharky for trusting us to write the blog and thank you for putting us before Rowan and Matt.